Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize