i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
