I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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