we have pet lesbian snakes
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
