so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
