We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
