this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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