loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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