You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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