He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
