I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
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She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
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We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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