My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
