Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
