NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants