Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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