shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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