'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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