I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just found puke in my bra..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
