Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
