So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
