how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm like, not good at living.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
