Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
