Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
