yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
