News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
