is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
