i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
