my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize