I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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