I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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