So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
