I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
