My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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