So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
