It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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