did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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