oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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