so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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