I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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