So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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