Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize