smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
