I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
