Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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