fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
