Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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