I hate all girls vehemently.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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