i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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