Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
This girl is more easily done than said...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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