wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
