he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
