I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
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Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
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The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Maybe he injected his testicle?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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