oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
