I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
