Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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