Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
