too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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