Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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