I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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