I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
