just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
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I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
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Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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