She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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