Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
